As I write this post, my 7-month-old is busy banging the frying pan on the floor, while all the toys that we so selectively bought, in an attempt to improve his developmental skills and motor skills and blah blah are lying untouched. I tried to interest him in a musical ABC device, but instead, he caught a bunch of my hair that had suddenly become undone. So, in addition to the frying pan, I have also added a mug and a steel pan cover to the mix, that he so loves to bite.
This naughty sunshine boy of mine and his toothless smile has filled all of my days in the past 7 months. But his entry into this world was anything but perfect. There are very few things in life as terrifying as hearing your doctor say that your newborn baby isn’t breathing. Instead of having those picture-perfect mother-baby skin-to-skin moments, I watched him wheeled away to special care, with my husband in tow. I saw him hours later, sleeping in an incubator with numerous pipes and cables attached to him. The maternity ward was only two floors above the special care unit, so we requested the nurse to call us anytime the baby was awake or crying. We spent the next three days traversing between the floors, day and night. By the third day, he was discharged and we spent our first night together as a family, although in the hospital. We stayed in the hospital for another 3 days as I had developed high fever and was under observation. But all’s well that ends well. This is probably the first time I am giving so much thought to our first few days in the hospital.
The immense support I received from my husband and parents in the first few months have made this transition into motherhood a bit easier and stress-free. My parents were with me until the baby turned 3.5 months old. The thought of them leaving and me managing the baby alone worried me to no end. How would I manage this fragile little life alone? But well, you gotta do what you gotta do. So I did what every millennial does in this age when faced with a problem. Google!! Youtube!! Ask questions in Mum’s group.
I found a really good video on trying to understand baby cries, differentiating his “eh” from “uh” and acting accordingly. Yes, there is such a thing. The difference in vowels indicates whether the baby is hungry or sleepy or gassy. I was doing pretty well and then I came to know that their cries change at 4 months old. So I was back to square one, trying to figure out why my baby his pulling his hair or staring at a distance.
It’s extremely fulfilling to watch him reach his milestones. The first time he recognized my face and smiled, I cried. One moment he would be sitting on the floor, and the other crawling like a lizard and trying to eat the leaves of Peace Lily plant, which are read are poisonous. They grow SO FAST. And his every developmental milestone has left me surprised and excited. The morning he turned over on his own or the time he stood holding the crib railing; I feel so happy to watch it all.
I am learning every day, figuring out his needs and what he wants to convey. My husband pitches in, in every way possible after reaching home from work, but motherhood without having a family or friends around can be very lonely at times. Video calls don’t cut it. I do miss human interactions, talking to people about everyday things. And since the weather is getting warmer, I get to go out only in the evenings when it’s not too windy. I still have a few more months left before I join the workforce.
The tug of war has begun in my heart – between the excitement of working again and the guilt of leaving my little muffin behind. Tell me how do you deal with mother’s guilt?
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He is so cute ❤ And glad all is well now. Raji, I am in no position to give an advice but I would say do what you want to do. It is hard but you will find a way. hugs!
That was a scary hospital stay – it would have been for anyone -don’t feel guilty about it! Yes, without friends or family around you, it is lonely! As to when to work, If you can hold out at least till 1 1/2 years that would be great, because then he can walk (or almost), and has learned you don’t cease to exist when he cannot see you If you are in the next room, or somewhere else. You already have the most difficult time behind you, so you can pat yourself on the back:)
Thanks for commenting about the Red Star cactus:)
Your little boy is so cute and his eyes speak of mischief 🙂
That fascination for pans and the sounds generated by banging must be music to his ears. You did the best thing by handing him out a few more accessories to add to his solo musical band. Toys are just over rated, I tell you.
In my case, I don’t remember what was D doing at 7 months because at this point I had joined back work and had spent 3 months already. How did I deal with my guilt? By crying out.
Gosh! He is so adorable. Feel like squishing him and planting innumerable kisses upon him.
We all find our rhythm in motherhood after the initial struggles.
Sending big love and big hugs to the two of you.
Being a mom is like being a superhero, honestly! I don’t know how you mom’s do it! You go from being only responsible for yourself to suddenly having to care for a tiny human’s every need! You are doing a great job Rajlakshmi! While it may seem like a tough job, being a mom is the most rewarding job.