the words restlessly swirl in my fingertips
w a i t i n g
to drench in the color of a poem
w a i t i n g
for me to bleed perfect metaphors
words – that you dumped at my doorstep
s
a
n
k
deep in my bones
jag the corners of my tongue
i have spent nights scraping off each letter
washing them under a bunch of stars
and on days when the sunlight barely touched my skin
i set fire to your memories
o n e w o r d a t a t i m e
Related Post : I once met a broken sunset (Poetry)
Nice. And I love what you are doing with the word and sentence sculpting.
Creativity runs through your veins, Raj! ❤
Your words are moving with a quiet force.
There are a lot of strong and surprising images here. I liked the abstract/concrete ideas of burning memories and sharpened words. I think it might be smoother for the reader to imagine all of the interesting things the words did by stating the actions in a more logical order, or giving the words actions that are a bit more linked logically. First they are dumped on a doorstep, then they are inside the body sinking into bone, then they are jagging the tongue. Maybe they are arrows shot at her feet, they jag her toes, then they are absorbed by bone? Just suggesting to make clear what I mean. Also, should “touch” be “touches”?
Thank you so much for the feedback.Agree that a more logical flow can be added to poem. I will keep that in mind while revising. Really appreciate it. 😊
Very creative! Your poetry talents are profound.
I love the way you have written this. So creative, so you!