The Collective Chaos of a Shaadi Wala Ghar

The Boruah household is gearing up for the biggest event of this year – my sister’s wedding in November. Yippeeee!! Although, we had hoped for a summer wedding, as none of the womenfolk wished to wear thick woolen sweaters over carefully picked silk Mekhela Chadors. But I guess we will somehow find a way to showcase our glamour in the foggy winter mornings of Assam. Because priorities you see.

In preparation for the said event, I have started doing push-ups and hope that it would miraculously bring back a hint of the jawline, which has disappeared ever since my chin gave birth to its twin. The only way I can make my jawline appear is if I suck in my cheeks. But, apparently, people throw weird looks at you when you stand like that in the train. Travails of a round-faced girl, with a resting face that resembles someone who ate a pizza and an elephant. Since no amount of Yoga can alter genes, alas, this is a family inheritance I will have to live with.

My overtly excited Dad wants to buy us pure silk items of clothing. The moment I saw the price, my eyebrows hit the forehead. I have specifically asked my sister to not indulge in such kind of shopping for me. I am a simple girl with simple dreams. Get me a saree in color that would hide all the acne marks, and make me look young and slim. That’s all I need.

My sister groaned as soon as I said “young“. Since I am the eldest, it is the purpose of my life to look younger than both my siblings. And I know they are dreading every moment of meet and greet with the extended family, which, in the past, have ended up in conversations like “but who is the eldest?“, “… Oh, she looks so much younger than you“. I could actually imagine both of them squirming at the possibility of being at the receiving end of this conversation. Because sibling rivalry you see.

They spent nearly 2 decades calling me “chaar footiya” (4 feet something). During my growing years, while I desperately inched to reach 5’3, my sister turned into a graceful 5’6 lass, while my brother towered at around 6 feet. So this is my revenge.  Muhahahaha!!!

Since my mom didn’t get much say on the dates during my wedding, she is now bombarding my sister with her encyclopedia of ancient traditions, horoscopes and demons ready to band-bajaofying our plans if we travel on the wrong date. Both my sister and her fiance are scientists, so this debate is usually won by my Mom.

My sister had initially picked a date according to the availability of the marriage halls. The only date in the whole month when most of the halls were available was considered inauspicious according to the Assamese calendar. My mom was absolutely horrified at the possibility of doing ceremonies on that date. If possible, she would have shot them with her eyeballs. And looks like she isn’t the only mom in Jorhat going bonkers over that date. Even though mid Nov-Dec is wedding season, let me assure you, no one in Jorhat will be getting married on 19th November.

Well, I can go on and on about the chaos of our shaadi wala ghar. But for now, let me stop here. Wish you all a great week 😀

22 thoughts on “The Collective Chaos of a Shaadi Wala Ghar

  1. A wedding in the family….ohh soo much fun! But so much chaos too. I honestly prefer attending and being a part of other than family weddings. Happy enough being a spectator to the ensuing chaos. You are a riot Raj! I don’t blame your siblings when they throw youbdark looks at how young you look! Waiting here more on this!

  2. Hahaha! This made for such a fun read. Congratulations for your sister’s wedding and have a great time shopping and prepping for the big day!
    It’s the same with us too, we are 3 sisters and I am the eldest and I am shorter than my sisters and look the youngest. Last month, I took my younger sister to my dermat. I just told him that she’s my sister. During the course of conversation, he told me, “Your didi needs to do this…” My sister’s expression was priceless. LOL 😀

  3. Ha ha ! that was fun. I wonder how do you know all that Hindi. I mean those words are so UP wala that when I think of Jorhat, I am surprised at that Hindi that’s so close to where I come from. And yes, no judging, eh? I just feel closer 😉

  4. That’s such a humorous post, as always, Raj, and you rock at it!
    Congratulations, didi, for your little behna’s shaadi! Have fun, and do share your awesome pictures.

  5. Loved your post, Raj and I’m sure you are going to rock it! Weddings are a combination of fun, excitement, stress and chaos but it is never to be missed, so I wish you have a fabulous time in November! Honestly, you look so gorgeous to me, I’ve never ever noticed about any ‘chin’ issues that you are mentioning.

  6. Oh I love shaadi wala ghars. The chaos and the excitement are so much fun. Oh and I’ve never noticed your second chin, muct make sure to look it up next time I’m on instagram. Looking forward to many more before-the-wedding posts.

  7. I hear you about the double chin troubles! I’ve been trying so much to get rid of it, but it seems to love me way too much.

    The wedding preparation seems to be so much fun! Obviously moms win the battle with scientists. Is there any doubt there?

  8. I don’t really attend weddings. But recently have attended few giving in to repeated persuasion. I loved the atmosphere and ambience of weddings. Aunties indulging in small talk, tiny tots running around, bride and the groom having private talks with a local singer singing in the background. As it is a family wedding, I can understand your elation.

  9. Such a feel good post 🙂 A wedding in the family is always special and that too if it’s a sibling’s wedding, it would be so much fun (amidst the million other things to attend to). My best wishes to your sister and the family.

    And double chin? Have you seen how fit and beautiful you are? 😉

  10. Weddings are so much fun especially if it’s your siblings getting married. I love the way you described your double chin. You’re funny, Raj! Hope you get that perfect color of saree. Enjoy!

  11. This was such a fun post to read All that sibling rivalry is hidden in a lot of love. And shaadi especially if a close relative is so enjoyable. I am sure you guys are going to rock it. Looking forward to some stunning pics in November. Loved reading about your mum throwing a fit. When it comes to shaadi dates, muhurats are important. And what chin are you talking about? 😊

  12. Wedding preparations are always fun. I am f sure you are looking forward to coming home in November!

    I disagree on the double chin reference. I don’t see any.

  13. Congratulations for your sister’s wedding. Reading about the chaos was quite funny, especially the equation between you and your sinlings. It is commendable of your Mom to win the arguments based upon ancient traditions and demonic predictions with the ‘scientists’ bride and groom. She must be real tough 🙂

  14. Oh winter weddings are so much fun and also so chilly!! But I’m sure a way to glamour up will be found! 😉

    Congratulations on your sister’s wedding! I look forward to hearing more about the preparations 🙂

  15. Your post laced with humour all through even making fun at yourself was very enjoyable. Your concerns about the winter marriage and the consequent need to drape in glamourless thick woollens brought a smile.

  16. That’s such a beautiful & humorous depiction of your ‘shaadi wala ghar’. Oh, Indian weddings are all big, fat ceremonies, thanks to our richness in customs & traditions. Congratulations to your sister, Raji!

    I love the way you talk about your jawline, by the way. 🙂

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