Maybe the empathy for the skewed ratio of women in technology would have been a lot stronger if the college professors meted the same advice to men too – that their engineering degree would be a waste as they would end up giving up their jobs to take care of the family.
I am a small town girl. The Engineering college I went to had 8 boys hostel and 1 girls hostel. The gender ratio was abysmal, but I have met some of the smartest and strongest girls in the corridors of that hostel. Most evenings we gathered together and spoke about the latest stereotype that was thrown at us. It was such a common ‘phenomenon’ that we used to laugh at it. The one misconception that comes straight to my head was the belief that girls were only good at theoretical subjects while guys were good at practicals. This was a popular opinion even among girls. I can’t believe how ridiculously misled we were!!
Fast forward to 8 years, I was in a meeting where we were discussing if the development would be completed in two weeks. I stated my opinion and raised a concern saying due to complexities, it won’t. One of the male colleagues casually commented something in the lines of – Don’t worry, leave the job to the men. Now my manager was super awesome and he stopped the conversation right there and heard me out. But these little incidences make up the life of a girl in Technology – these offhanded comments that are supposed to be funny. Yes, you do end up growing a thick skin and not let them kill your mojo.
I haven’t worked with a female developer for years now. There was a female tester once and that’s about it. My immediate manager is a really inspiring woman, who is a former developer. When I first started my corporate life as a Java developer in Chennai, the number of female developers were impressive. As I grew in the role and moved to different teams, the numbers dwindled. And now, after 10 years, I hardly know any female who has moved to a senior developer or architect role. In fact, I don’t know any female architect. Some left their jobs, few moved to testing and most chose managerial roles. It does get quite lonely sometimes.
I started programming when I was 14. I used to go to a computer center after school, to complete my Diploma in Computer Application. Software Engineer is a profession I had picked for myself, so it really hurts when someone disregards or questions my love for this field. My mom was really upset when I opted for Information technology, instead of biology in grade 11. Everyone thought it was a fad that would go away. But it didn’t.
My overall experience as a woman in technology is amazing, except for that one time when I got a bad appraisal rating because I wasn’t aggressive enough. Seriously, that was the comment in my appraisal form. Not because I lacked skills or enthusiasm to work, but I wasn’t aggressive. I don’t even know what that means. I was only 4 years into this profession and already felt like I had reached my saturation point. In a way, it was the kind of push I needed. My husband and I had applied for a permanent residency in a different country. We sold everything, packed 2 suitcases and with hardly any money left in our bank accounts, started from scratch in an alien country, without any inclination to go back. My parents like always supported my decision, even though they thought we had gone cuckoo, but that’s a story for another time.
I have worked with some very respectful people who treated me like an equal and never doubted my ability to get the job done. I absolutely love my job and the challenges it brings too.
It is natural to be intimidated by people who are more knowledgeable. It makes you question your achievements. The Imposter Syndrome is a struggle that can bog down even the best. Plus, the lack of female role models or mentors in the field further impacts you psychologically. I ended up being my own cheerleader, constantly supporting/debating myself and the decisions I made because frankly, I have no one to turn to.
And this is why I fight like a girl. To change the perspective of women in the STEM… women in technology especially.
And that no professor will ask young girls to frame their degrees as a showcase, because that’s all it’s going to be used for.
Check out this awesome post on Unsung women in tech
Loved every bit of this post. I have so many women who want to do something for women in STEM and who have stories of some kind of bias either in their families, college or work! Its amazing to know you never gave up on your passion and are so motivated. More power to you!
Funny, I had the opposite experience. I told my professor that I was going to manage a household for my career, and he said, “What a waste!” He knew I had the potential to be a programmer or a rocket scientist or any other STEM career I wanted to go into.
I wonder, why did I receive pressure to go into the STEM field, when you received pressure to stay out?
To me, fighting like a girl is deciding for yourself what your dream is and not letting anyone tell you it’s wrong.
Funny, I had the opposite experience. I decided to manage the household instead of bring in the family income, and when I told my professor so, his words were “What a waste!” He knew I had the potential to be a programmer or a rocket scientist, or whatever I wanted in the STEM field and he was right. But I don’t regret my decision, even though I do like to talk algorithms with my friends who are engineers and computer scientists.
Wonderful Raj! I love these kind of articles. As a career woman who absolutely loves what she does, I can relate to this so well. Its pretty lonely here as well in the Finance world. We are just 2 women as against 25 men but we are kick ass. We speak up at meetings, challenge, love the race and give our best shot at getting to the top. May our tribe grow Raj
Courageous post and I appreciate you for sharing your feelings, fight like a girl to me would mean not to let others decide for you – be it academics or career or for anything that matters to you. I am not an engineering student but i say that many girls after engineering end up changing their careers., specially when they get married… even families will suggest them to do B ed and take up day shift and and a 9to 5 job. very few girls pursue and stick to their passion. The image you posted is colorful and lovely.
Can I just say you are so very inspiring? Not just for your yoga and fitness and zentangle posts but for the powerhouse of tech that you are. It’s incredibly life affirming and something all girls should aspire to. Learning is amazing when we stay open to it. As you say perhaps the added responsibility of marriage and motherhood may have a role to play in fewer women at the top. Add lack of support to the mix and it’s an unfortunate recipe. Hopefully this can change going forward
Kudos to you for being a woman in Tech! It was so inspiring to read stories on WomenInTech on twitter and despite the ratio being skewed, women have left a mark in tech. There’s no denying that, and also the fact that we need more women in Tech. Perhaps people like you would inspire more women to hold on to something (like coding) if they’re passionate about it:-)
In my Maths class, we were two two girls in a class of 20. In Engineering college, we were 10 in 60. At my first job as a developer, I was the only one in my team of 8. So you are right – the ratios are skewed and it makes me sad to know that things haven’t changed till date. I moved from Technology to HR but I see women in technology on a daily basis and the struggle is that they have to manage both family and career. Most women don’t have the support of spouse or families to pursue the career. And then they drop off the work force. It’s sad but the true reality.
I agree that we should speak up for ourselves and only that will change things.
I can relate to this. We had just two girls hostels! It was a crazy time in college. Such comments are welcome too I guess. Let me tell you why. My daughter is a first year MBBS student in India. She recently told me that one of her professors keeps making comments like girls can’t get into the surgical field. She was so wild, she almost wants to take up surgery just to prove him wrong!
You did well dear. Best wishes for the future. I started programming at 15. I loved it and was very good at it. And then like you said, life happened. But I keep updating myself though. Just for the fun of it.
Wow, it feels so awesome after reading your story. And by writing about it here you must have surely inspired many others who are having tough time with those ridiculous sexist comments at their workplace. By the way sometime back I saw a similar question about boys good in practicals and girls in theory on Quora. This superstition still prevails. :))
Wow!! So proud of you, Raj. You are a go-getter and you will overcome these stereotypical challenges at work too.More power to you.
I’ve shared your brilliant post on twitter. I really like the philosophical way you spoke about the kind of comments you have had to listen to. It says a lot for your maturity and I love the story of how you moved to Australia.
You rock woman! You are such a kickass inspiration- be it yoga, art or a tech board – you ace it everywhere. Keep sticking to your guns for only you can know your instincts and just keep at it. The world loves to pull peeps down because it cant keep itself up! Cheers 😀
Such a wonderful post Raji. You truly are an inspiration to us 😍
Things like this keep happening all the time, Raj. Such remarks are often made and often ignored. There is a female developer in my team and she knows more than most of the men. But the men didn’t let her stay in the team. I lead the testing team and I fight fiercely for my team. I have often seen that the DEV lead who is a man thinks it is his right to control my team as well but I don’t buckle. And I say no women should. We are where we are because we know and have worked hard. Nobody has the right to judge us or belittle us due to our anatomy! You go girl!
Hey Yoga Girl – just sock it to them those mean men. My techie friend who is now a VP in her company used to actually be asked by her SUBORDINATES no less to make a cup of tea for them while she was chairing the meeting!!!!
And yes, techie girls are also supposed to be nerdy, unattractive and ball breakers but don’t let that get to you. I know several techie women who have reached the top and are doing a much better job that most men.
But having said that, my two year old grandson whom we are trying to bring up without any gender bias ( our house is strongly feminist) shocked me the other day by saying that girls can’t drive. When I asked him how he allowed me to drive he said – you aren’t a girl. You are an Ajji…..
Once during the last semester in Engineering college when we all were frantically attending placement tests afte pr placement tests, a male classmate said that it was okay for us girls even if we didn’t get placed because we were girls, but that’s not the case with them boys. Naturally, this comment made me furious because I didn’t go for engineering to show my certificate in order to procure a similarly qualified husband. Of course, later while working as a software developer I came across many such comments and overcame them by showing that I deserved to be there. Leaving the job was hard. Even after 10 years I am not over it. Anyway, you should see the people working with my husband – all ladies always, be it managers, peers, subordinates.. I don’t know how he manage to get himself surrounded with all these ladies, but that’s good news from a female technical role perceptive at least on this side of the world, right? Or maybe, I can send my husband to your office for a day or two and see the rise in female techies! 😀
..and I am super proud of you girl! I wish I have a daughter so that she can read this 🙂
Awww you are the sweetest. Thank you so much ❤❤
It is about speaking out at all occasions when it is needed, regardless of consequences. I get into trouble sometimes, and some of my rage I pour into fiction, but I will never keep quiet.
This is something I learnt very late in my professional life. To speak up, to be not intimidated by others who can speak up. More power to you and may you keep writing those awesome fiction 😊
I totally get you, Raj. The husband is a techie and having worked in tech startups, I can vouch for your view. There are hardly any Senior developers or architects as you mentioned. I see women mostly as testers or in very junior positions. I once asked my husband why. He had no answer. Could it be because they work very long hours or that managerial positions is the way to go? So proud of all your achievements, Raj! You will be the role model other women will look up to.
The long hours is very internal to the company and culture. Here in my company, you are not at all encouraged to work after 5 unless there’s a major showstopper. While back in India it is a norm, irrespective of productivity or efficiency. There are a lot of factors but still, I believe that all women are strong enough to take these technical roles if given proper guidance. And that’s where we need more role models and mentors.
Thank you for writing in Rachna
This is the kind of women our society needs, Raj. The ones who support themselves and stand their ground, come what may!
So proud of you, girl! Really loved your post. Left me feeling awestruck!
Yes we need more women who can stand ground … We need a lot many mentors too. Thank you so much Shilpa. Your words mean a lot.
I love this post. I wish women felt more encouraged into these subjects, there’s so much potential out there that’s not being realised xx
Alys
https://alysjournals.com
Thank you so much 😀