Constipation & Indian Toilets equals fabulous legs

Let me put you up for a challenge today and see if you can keep up with my train of thoughts.

I do not like climbing stairs behind tall guys for the fear of a head-on collision with their bum. Given that I am only 160 cm tall, the probability of that happening is a lot higher than I would like it to be, specially during peak hours at the train station.

I get tongue tied around awesome personalities. I don’t know how to sit next to them, or talk or even look them in the eye. I pretend to be dumb, stare at my phone and act like the story about  spider monkeys and pandas are the center of my existence. Maybe that’s why phones were invented, to mask the general awkwardness of small talk.

Or to save the mind from getting beffudled by a pair of flashing blue eyes. Yes, blue eyes, irrespective of gender, turns my brain into a cauliflower.

In case you are wondering about this talk on magnificent eyes, I recently finished reading a mammoth edition of Paranormal Romances. And then spent the next two days stalking accounts of Ian Somerhalder, Matt Bomer and the likes.

Source

How strong is your fantasy while reading a book? Do you imagine yourself as a part of the story. As the ass kicking sword weilding heroine? As the enchantress muttering spells and healing the wounded hero with just a feathery touch? Do you create scenes in your mind and enact them as well. Well, unfortunately, I do all of that. I fear I might start seeing these characters in the real world one day.

Books have made me Mental! Completely utterly mental. I undoubtedly have higher probability of suffering from schizophrenia than common cold.

Pro tip: Donot run your rich imagination  in the kitchen. Specially when a ladle dipped in hot oil is involved.

Doing handstands slightly makes up for my inability to do sword play or throw a punch or roundhouse kicks or even a normal kick.

Ever since we redecorated, I don’t have a proper place to practice Yoga. So any corner with no fragile objects in the vicinity, works well for now. 

Have you heard about the Third World squat? The posture in which my mom used to spent the whole day doing household chores, is an excellent leg workout that the trainers make you do at the gym.

Image courtesy Pixabay

I was pleasantly surprised when a friend was talking about how long they could hold that squatting position. 10 minutes to be precise. Can you sit like that for 10 minutes?

So apparently, a bout of constipation and Indian style toilets, can result in fabulous legs.

Talking about legs, here’s another pro tip: Never wear an old pair of jeans without checking the buttons. You might be extremely excited to fit into them even after so many years, but the next thing you know, you are in the bathroom, trying to find the button that broke free and flew into some unreachable corner leaving you with a well fitted jeans, unbuttoned and fly open.

Accidents happen and these are the ones that no one tells you about. 😆

Related post: When you are clumsy AF