A Dummy’s Guide to Date a Blogger

With the advent and awareness of social platforms like blogs, there’s a tremendous increase in the population of bloggers. God forbid, you might just end up falling for one such ‘lost’ soul. It takes a mighty heart courageous enough to slay a fire breathing dragon, to date a blogger.
Categorizing the idiosyncrasies of blogger is a herculean task. Though the trait of being weird is common between all, the scale might slightly differ. It’s up to you to classify your beloved bundle of bizarreness.
Trait 1 – More often than not, you might find them smiling at the sky or a setting sun. No, I confirm they are not trying to contact the mother-ship that left them stranded on earth. 
Solution – Just be glad that their eyes are not fixated on an hourglass figurine lass or a hunk driving an Audi. 😛
Trait 2 – Most of the bloggers get caught in the act, which renders a behavior well suited for an immediate admission in an asylum. Let me clarify, Bloggers have the wildest sense of perception. They might compare you with slimy lithe caterpillars crawling on a cauliflower, but believe me, they find it extremely attractive, even more than Deepika Padukone rolling on the sand.
A red neck lizard might capture their interest for weeks, as they run up and down the stairs with SLR in hand while your turtle neck might not even raise an eyebrow. Some bloggers even find insatiable pleasure in infringing the private lives of birds, be it exotic rare species or the common crow. This isn’t delirium or a case of mental instability.
Solution – Ignore with smile. It might take great practice, patience and meditation, but you will be rewarded with some unbelievably fascinating pictures of yours.
Trait 3 – Bloggers have keen sense of observing the obvious in skewed angles. If instead of talking about their humdrum routine they stare blankly at the porcelain vase, devouring chicken legs dipped in coffee, and placing the remnants on your plate, beware – crafting of a masterpiece is in progress
Solution – Call the press photographers if possible, but never ever break their reverie. You might deprive the world from the greatest art human mind could conjure.

Trait 4 – Bloggers have a delusion of being creative. Artistically wielding the magical mouse , stroking the PS canvas, with 16 million colors at their  disposal, they click right left and center. And Voila a digital painting appears. From adding larger-than-life frames to photographs, twisting and turning text in all possible font or pinching tissue paper from washroom, the delinquency might leave you gaping after them. And believe me, that’s what they aim for.  

Solution – Practice deep breathing, drink your coffee and let them enjoy their crafty imaginations. They might be generous enough to let you decorate your workplace with one such creation.

Trait 5 – Your efforts to keep up with their eccentricities might even trigger a sleeping passion, which is more likely to result in an un-rhyming 40 line poem,  whose metaphors and similes might just blow your sensibility or vocabulary away. There are some extreme cases when you might be asked to present your interpretation. 
Solution – Don’t lose heart, memorize this like Gayatri Mantra, hold their hands , look in their eyes and in a voice dripping with honey say “Darling, your thinking capability is way beyond my mental ability”. Don’t replace darling with Dud. A slight tremor of voice and a glint of teardrops might do the trick too. {For more on training materials refer SRK movies.}
See pretty easy huh.
Image source-GoogleOriginally this post was written long back, rewrote it today to add some more masala 😀


19 thoughts on “A Dummy’s Guide to Date a Blogger

  1. Hahaha! That was funny, Raj! But, just out of curiosity…have you based those characteristics on yourself, by any chance? And, how did hubby face it all? Hehehehe…:P

  2. Ha! And I thought I was the only crazed blogger out there Raj! So good to know I'm not a breed unto itself! 😉 Definitely a fun read…thanks for sharing both the amusing text and pics. I can't imagine being dated right now as most of my time would be spent on the computer anyway, at least for now! 😉 And dating a blogger: same! 😉 <3

Leave a Reply