Monica Geller is the role model for all the clean-freaks around the world. Any friend who’s obsessive about cleanliness and tidiness and neatness and all other such “ehhh” things that scares the life out of housemates, is lovingly called Monica. You won’t believe how pleased they are if you name them so.
But to be married to one, is a whole new deal. I feel like I am enacting various characters from Friends – Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey while my husband is The Monica. Or maybe he is Sheldon and I am Penny.
I mean seriously, if he wanders at night to clean the house, I won’t be surprised. Our apartment is clean by normal human standards, but by his standards, it’s a living dump of entropy. The scissor should be in the cupboard next to bowls and plates, blazer and coats packed in covers and hung towards the far end and the shampoos arranged in line by height (increasing or decreasing – yeah atleast I have a choice here). Well, while I am shampooing I am more worried about they burning my eyes rather then their god forsaken height!!
To be honest, I am Intel 4004 when it comes to processing all this information. I completely shut down when such complicated instructions are fired at a rapid rate. His latest policy in the kitchen after washing all the utensils is – instead of putting them on the shelf for drying, rub each one of them with a towel to soak all the water and immediately put them in the cupboard. Where on earth does he gets all these ideas from? Is there a guidebook to “Tips to make your wife go bat crap crazy”?
It took me more than 3 weeks to finally comply. Why… because I am lazy!! 😛
I have separate boxes to keep my clothes, paper crafts, books and nail polishes, while he keeps his camera stuffs far far away from my reach. He is forever scared of me messing his painstakingly done arrangements. The days I make paper crafts are the days of his eternal pain. We have carpet floor and pieces of paper tend to stick to it. I could feel his eyes watching me, and with each piece of paper falling on the carpet, I could hear him wince. Of course I have to clean up, brush the carpet and put things exactly where they were.
The only time I am inspired to fold and refold the clothes is when the internet the down. I even found the perfect gift for this birthday, the clean freak house slippers 😛 Need to find a store that sells them.