I am always running late to catch the bus early morning. Blame it on late night blogging or my Liril style showering, but just 5 minutes before the arrival time, I would be applying my eyeliner. Now this is a process that you cannot rush, you might end up resembling the ghost from Grudge. But then there are days, absolute crappy days when you have just finished applying a perfect winged line but almost immediately a violent sneeze escapes your nostrils. Since I have small eyes, the eyeliner kinda reaches my eyebrows and temples and gently flows down my cheeks. In the mirror is a raccoon staring back. Needless to say, I miss the bus and have to walk to the train station because my husband is lying on the floor, breathless from laughing his a$$ off.
While traveling in the train, I sit next to all kinds of people. There was a girl licking her elbows, a guy digging gold in this nose, another girl sitting so close that her hair was in my armpits… well you got the drift. But sometimes I get to sit next to handsome dudes with jawline so sharp that it would give you a paper-cut. There was one such day, when I sat next to this Adonis like guy. Sharp clothing and eyes so blue! The doors had closed and the train had just started when I felt a terrible itch in my nose. That, my friend, was the indication of what kind of embarrassment lay in front of me. You see I am allergic to dust and anything that tickles my nose results in sneezes of highest order. In 2.5 seconds I turned from a tip-top Princess to Phlegm covered creature. I was running out of tissue papers. This tiny nose was producing mucus at a rate of ten-thousand disgusts per second. My nose was covered in 10 napkins. Partly to prevent any other dust particle from entering and partly to hide my face so that he never remembers the ‘phlegm’ girl. You cannot imagine the relief when the guy finally got up to alight at his stop.
Ever seen those people in public transport who cough so hard that they are about to spill their guts on the floor. Winters make me one such person. I keep a bunch of Strepsils in my bag for those auspicious occasions. But since I am always running out of my luck, it so happened that I was seized by a terrible itchy throat in a train so crowded that I had to stand on my toes. If I cough, I would be spitting on atleast 10 people. I was trying to control it and let out a small uukhu ukkhu. Immediately I was met with glares that kinda stopped the itch right in the throat. But you know how these itchy coughs are, the more you try to subdue, the more violent they become. I fervently ran my hand in the bag to find just one Lozenges left. The next half an hour was peaceful but as soon as the last drop of Strepsils dissolved in my mouth, the itch returned. And what followed was another twenty minutes of ear popping cough. I think I gave birth to my kidney that day.
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