The erratic moods of Sydney weather is doing no good to my nostrils. Few days back I read a new pressure trick to open sinuses, thanks to some random share on Facebook. All you need to do is press the roof of your mouth and the spot between the eyebrows, simultaneously, for about 20 seconds. I wish they had given specific directions on how to do the former. I mean if I use my finger, my boss will definitely send me to some rehabilitation center. Imagine me sitting in front of two large monitors, with one finger inside the mouth and other on the forehead. I don’t think I could sucessfuly pass it as a Yoga mudra.
However, I did try the method with my tongue and it really seems to work. But very soon my forehead will display a crater right at the center.
What is the worst thing you can do when sick?
Yes, try googling your symptoms and go to images, you won’t need any fad diet to lose weight. Sometimes I bravely scroll through scores and scores of pictures just to find the one that matches my condition. So you see, this is the secret to go from size 10 to size 6 in few weeks.
According to google I seem to have a colony of Staphillococus bacteria which will eat my brain, the good Lactobacillus bacterias are all dead and dusted, while a skin condition is developing which will rot my fingers and burn a hole through my limbs… in short I am mutating into a Zombie.
What’s the worst thing you have to do when sick?
I was home alone and peckish, so I chopped onions, mushroom and broccoli. I had to stop at broccoli because there wasn’t anything left in the fridge and I wasn’t sure if brinjal was a good ingredient to add to whatever the hell I was preparing. I placed everything in a pan and started stir frying. Till then I had no idea what I was actually doing. I boiled some noodles and fried them as well. Sprinkled some soy and vinegar. By then I realized it would be good idea to stop adding more. I ate the stuff only because I was hungry, else it’s a surprise that I even survived that horrenduos noodle thing I invented.
My phone history shows all kinds of cringworthy keywords: swollen nose, swollen skin, bumpy red patch, strange black spots, am I infected by alien virus, is blowing nose my superhuman power… someone might think I live on a footpath and bath once a year in local river where women wash their clothes.
Anyhow, I had a quite weekend, with the exception of my nose making farting noises. How about you?